Hush Lil Babies

In my previous posts, I’ve talked a lot about postpartum depression and anxiety, and the inner struggles that come along with that. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the external changes that came with the hormonal fluctuations greatly affected me as well.

Some of the changes I personally experienced included: weight gain and fluid retention that were hard to shed after giving birth; linea nigra which is a dark line running down my abdomen caused by increasing melanin; gum inflammation leading to swelling, tenderness, and bleeding; hair loss that left my hair noticeably thinner; and a postpartum belly, where my skin and muscles felt soft or floppy. But perhaps what I struggled with the most was the skin issues. Specifically melasma, also known as the “mask of pregnancy,” which caused severe darkening of my face.

With all these changes, and the fact that there was little time for self-care, working out, or sleeping properly, I just accepted that I didn’t feel attractive, sexy, or confident in my skin.

The summer after having my baby, I didn’t put my bikini back on. My sisters and close friends didn’t understand. They had always known me as someone who wasn’t overly concerned with my appearance. They kept telling me, “Who cares? You just had a baby! You should be proud.” But here’s what I realized: I wasn’t ashamed of my body, I just wasn’t used to it and I didn’t feel comfortable in it. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t grateful for the life I created. I was proud of my body and the journey it had been through, but I felt like it was rundown and needed more attention than I could give at the time.

What I realized is that it is completely ok and normal if changes in our appearance affect us. It doesn’t make us shallow or weak. But it’s important to practice self-compassion when you’re struggling with self-love. I couldn’t control the changes that happened to me, but I could control how I responded. I reminded myself that regaining confidence doesn’t happen overnight and that I had to give myself grace in the process.

So, I decided I wasn’t going to just accept my new body as it was. I was going to take small, practical steps to feel good again. I started exercising regularly, eating healthier, drinking more water, and keeping up with my 6-month dentist check-ups. But perhaps the most significant change was starting to care for my skin and hair, something I had never focused on before. I did a lot of research, spoke with my dermatologist, and created a skincare routine that worked for me. Slowly, I began to see progress.

My New Year’s resolution for 2025 was to make this year a year of self-care. It was time to do things for myself again. I began getting facials, including microneedling and chemical peels. Luxuries, yes, but also a way for me to reclaim and celebrate my body. I took control of what I could, and I started seeing real changes. My skin began to feel radiant again.

Looking at photos from my transformation, I can’t help but reflect on all the internal changes happening too, while the physical ones were so noticeable. It’s a reminder that growth, in all forms, happens from the inside out.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I see a different person. Not only do I finally feel like I have that “glow” they talk about with mothers, but I’ve also come out the other side of postpartum depression. I’ve made peace with my body, and while I don’t expect it to be my pre-baby body, I’m going to love and take care of it.

The physical changes we go through with motherhood are drastic, but they are worth it. And you are worth the time and effort it takes to feel better again.